We are starting this chapter with a short story: A young man bought a conventional camera a long time ago. He travelled to an unknown city in a foreign country far away. The city was so neat and tidy that it was out of the ordinary to find carelessly discarded rubbish on sidewalks. It was so different, that the young man had to take a photograph of every single piece of paper he found on the sidewalks, while going out for a walk. When he returned home, he looked at his self-made pictures and noticed that all photographs only show rubbish. It was obvious then, that it was hard to convince all his friends and other family members that this city was one of the neatest he has ever been before. After a while he convinced even himself that this cannot be a very clean city and so he thought: ‘Probably I was wrong and in reality this city is as dirty as all the others!’
What are we trying to say? We have the possibility to make different perceptions in our environment each single day and at any time during the day. We are even capable of experiencing two sides, a positive and a negative one, in different situations or among different people.
If we align the camera of our soul only on things that are negative, we should not wonder why our mental holiday photographs only express a bad memory. Now the following question would suit: ‘But how am I able to align the attention on joy to get many nice positive memory pictures?’
The answer is very simple: Your mind and my mind are working at the same way and principle: We sort out all things, which don’t seem to be interesting for us by asking ourselves many questions. Mostly, these is a great amount of questions in quick successions. The way we ask questions, automatically excludes all other questions, which were not asked. If you ask for example: ‘Why am I not good in math’s?’, so your Berta assumes already that you are not good in it and you have no other chance to change this. If you ask yourself: ‘Why cannot it work out without any problems?’, you lock out any changes, because you assume already that this special thing can never happen without any problems.
If you ask, so you will be replied!! If you ask wrong, you will get a wrong answer. Your Berta doesn’t care of what exactly you are asking. So, ask right! If you are treaded unfair, don’t ask yourself ‘Why exactly me?’ or ‘Why is this happening to me?’, but instead ‘What is really good there?’, ‘Why is this funny?’, ‘What can I learn out of this?’ or ‘What can I do better the next time?’ etc.
Another point to mention: Each question simultaneously evaluates an unquestioned situation. For example: If someone injures you with clenched fists you can analyze this situation through many different ways. Here again some examples: ‘Why is he hitting me?’, ‘How can I revenge him?’, ‘Why is he stronger than me?’, `Why is this always happening to me?’, `How can I prevent this the next time?’
Look at these questions and get aware of the feelings each question is setting of and in addition think of the countless possibilities which are excluded of each question. So, this is the language of your Berta! Take some time and write down questions, which give you a lot of positive energy and fun! For example: ‘What’s so great?’, `What can I found out new?`, ‘Who loves me- who do I love?’, `How can other people see my competence?’
Please do this exercise now and conscientious. Out of this you will understand the language of your Berta. And now we will connect some of the steps! Consider the ease and naturalness in reacting by organizing some emotional Aerobic exercises: